Well, I have decided to start this blog because I need a place to say random funny things. My old co-worker used to hear the majority of my nonsensical bullshit. However, with a new job, I need to vent my ridiculous thoughts.
To start off, read this:
http://www.wbaltv.com/news/28470849/detail.html
Now, I found this story QUITE humorous. The main reason is that I loathe speeding cameras. I would have a couple bucks in my pocket that I could spend on something like underwear or a cool bra. Next thing you know, BAM, I owe $75 for going 15 mph over the limit. There goes my new undergarments! If I had the balls to walk up to a speed camera with a shot gun and camera, I would. This guy probably didn't want to hurt anyone, he just wanted to beat the crap out of the camera. He probably was surprised someone was actually in the vehicle, bashed in the windshield and ran like hell. I want to be his friend. I wouldn't want to cross him, but I would like to be his friend.
I had a dream last night that I was at my parent's house and a gray cat came up to me and was trying to get frisky (pun intended). I wanted to take him home with me because honestly, this cat loved me. I bent over to check it for fleas and ticks and BAM it turned into an Asian man. Then he tried to make out with me and, because I am so sexy in my dreams, he tried to bang me. I stopped him and told him I was married. He went on to say that he worked at Johns Hopkins as a doctor. I said "I don't care how much money you make, I am married." He morphed into a mopey fucking cat and left the house. I woke up thinking "Why are half cats - half Asian men trying to bang me in my dreams?"
I love the Party Rock Anthem. I have been jamming to it at 7 am every morning since I heard it. I am pretty disappointed that kids nowadays have awesome jamz like that and I had some stupid Nelly song. Ah, brings me back to when I dressed like Nelly with a band-aid on my face and a gum wrapper in my teeth for my grill. Yes, Nelly. That is YOUR fault.
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